Wednesday, November 16, 2016
Also this month, because of the election, I got back into Facebook and spent way too much time fretting over it. What a ride! All the way from sputtering "What the H-E-Double hockey sticks are they thinking? I'll give them a peace [sic] of my mind!!!" to perseveration and second-guessing. "O gosh, did I go too far? on like, my own Facebook page?? Of course you didn't go too far! It's your page! Get some attitude, girl!...but I hurt their feelings, see how angry I made them...I'm a bitch...No I'm not...."
I think I'm getting the hang of persuasion, whether I'm trying to change an acquaintance's mind in a tête–à–tête or minds-by-the-small-handful in my writing, the method for persuasion that suits me best involves first seeking to understand what's preventing a person from seeing things my way, especially if their opposition comes floating along a river of overwhelming emotions. That's where their head is--no use trying to reason them out of it the torrent--but that doesn't mean the conversation is over. Without having to agree with them, I can let them know I'm listening. Resisting the urge to escalate, no matter how angry I feel, I can empathize and de-escalate. Then the "persuadee" may be open to listening to the emotional motivations I have for believing/acting as I do. And if she is engaged in listening to me "speak from the heart," I can gradually slip some facts and reason into the conversation, and those ideas will be coming from a companion rather than from an adversary, and will have a chance of being at least considered, if not embraced.
I try not to be a bitch publicly or one-to-one, and for the most part, I think I'm doing all right.
That's a lot of personal crap I just wrote. I've put the part worth most generally useful in bold.